Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize