i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize