Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize