dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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