fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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