I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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