Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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