now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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