I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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