I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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