Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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