There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize