You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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