haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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