I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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