it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize