It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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