I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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