just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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