i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize