Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize