Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize