i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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