You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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