Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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