Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize