She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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