Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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