Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
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We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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