I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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