we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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