But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize