There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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