Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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