I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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