Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sex in a hospital.. check
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whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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