I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How external is "for external use only"?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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