I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
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and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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