I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize