I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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