ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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