I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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