I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize