so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize