When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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