Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
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It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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