You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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