I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize