So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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