that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
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The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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