oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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